December 13, 2008

• I spend such a large amount of my time regretting things that I've done in the past that it's really beginning to take a toll.  When I was a little kid, I was in the backyard jumping on the trampoline with my best friend from across the street and I heard one of my dogs, Mandy, choking.  I ignored her.  A couple of hours later, after my friend had left, we found her dead in the backyard because she had choked on a bone that we had bought for her to play with.  It haunts me everytime I think about it, how stupid and ignorant I was.  I didnt even play with my dogs that much back then, and it really hurts to think of how she died such a slow, painful death and without getting the attention she so well deserved.

   

  I did spend more time with my pets after that.  I would walk my other dog, Checkers, around the block after school every day.  What used to be a once-a-week occasion that my parents did, was now a once-a-day thing that I did.  We would let our dogs loose in the backyard every day and that's where they stayed, ignored for the most part.  Checkers and Mandy were best friends, and as painful as it was for me, it hurt Checkers even more having to watch her die.  He had noone to play with now for all the hours that we would be at school and at work everyday.  Watching his best friend die changed him, he would howl out in pain every night for a few weeks, when normally he never made any noise whatsoever.  I was partially responsible, so I put forth a concious effort to be a better friend than what I used to be.  Without having a friend around to play with, it can get pretty lonely being in a backyard all day long, and he loved going for walks everyday with me.  From that point on, I would spend extra time with him.  When he got older, his back constantly got thrown out of alignment, so he had to spend alot of time in the garage on some blankets we set up for him to rest on while he recovered.  Since he couldnt walk, I'd go out there often to pet him and make sure he had plenty of food and water.  He'd try to get up to greet me but always fell back down in pain.  Eventually, he died of a heart attack one morning when we let him out into the backyard for the day, and I spent the afternoon digging his grave next to Mandy.  Knowing that I spent more time with my dog, and since he died a natural death, made me feel less regret than when Mandy died.

   

  After that, I knew I had to dedicate more time to my cat.  She had always had gotten the most attention, which sometimes makes me feel terrible because my dogs deserved better from us.  She was an inside cat while they were outside dogs, so it was only natural for more constant interaction.  But after my dogs died, since she was getting older, I knew she needed to know she was loved and appreciated.  I did spend alot of time with her, and now that she's dead, I dont regret the amount of attention that she got.

   

  I regret the mistakes I've made to this day, but I learned from them.  Spend lots of time with your family and friends, the people and the pets that you love, because you never know when they will be gone forever.  Put down the videogames, turn off the tv, if you're going to be the owner of a pet then it's your responsibility to treat them as another member of your family.  Dont just let them out and forget about them, pay attention to their needs and play with them until you're sick of it.  The same goes with your family and friends, there's probably someone in that group of people who you havent talked to in years, who may drop dead at any second, call them up and see what they're up to.  Do it today, dont waste a second, even if it's excrutiatingly boring to listen to them chatter on and on it may secure your place in their will and make you feel less guilty later on.  Later on, you wont feel the regret that I constantly live with.

  • 10:57 am
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